Remember O Most Gracious Virgin Mary

Ahhhh so here we are.  Christmas break and nothing to do but shop and sleep!!!! glorious.  Yeah, i’ll most likely get sick of Lebanon here, like…whithin the next few hours, and wish to return to THE NASTY…..  but actually I’m going back on monday night to SALLLSAAA!!! with Moooogan and Erin and hopefully Bobaitlin!  And theeeen…. thrusday night to Longworth’s to KARAOKEEEE!  mmm mmm mmmm….their LIT’s are fab. ulous.  mm.

But what I REALLY need to do is go skiing.  I have a one day lift pass and ski rental and I need to use it before the year ends!!!!! YIIKES!  I would go like, TOMORROW, if anyone in my family skiied.  but no. no one does.  SO, i have to find someone!  James said he’d go with me, but… his words hold no allegiance.  And thats the truth.  sorry to say. 
Oh! I almost forgot that Mooogan and Erin snowboard! Well there we go, cooler people anyway!
Well, thats about all the riveting intelligence i have to share at the moment.  Except for the fact that my family is wack.  I mean both sides.  But whose isn’t?   eehhhh.

Donc, alors, bon….  A gent.  I’ve learned to salsa with this gentleman.  He keeps surprising me and making me smile…all the time.  And now, I’ve become suspicious.  Help!  Make me be a normal thankful happy girl without a care or worry in the world.  But that is how i feel when I’m with said gentleman.  ….but there has to be something…. something…  oh jeez.   oh mon dieu, c’est un rêve. vraiment.  Est-ce que c’est ma rédecouverte?  You see, by now, we all know, the LAST thing in the world that i can allow myself to be, is a fool.  I have nothing left for it.  So.  …..so.  what should i do about it? 
I have to throw it out there.  I gotta.  “protect your heart” bullcrap.  to an extent, most certainly…. 
but you cant have those walls up forever….”you’ll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time….what are you hoping for?”  a little cheesy, a little “emo-y” (GOD i hate that term ‘emo’ i’ll go on a tangent about that some other time…) coming from a song, but i know its true… I have experienced it. 

 I know i’m young… but dang, i’m getting there… and before i know it, i’ll be there.  I refuse to be 29 -heck, even 25- and hanging out at bars hoping some quality guy will buy me a drink.  they’ll be gone.  AND trust me, i’ve seen 29 year old guys hanging around those bars…SKEEEZERS dressed straight out of Abercrombie and Hollister, a wristband, a necklace, that RANK cologne, as if they were still seniors in highschool…. and all they are interested in are the barely legal girls, because they know the naiive ones are their only bet.  
 Girls, you see, they have a shorter time span.  ohhh oh oh….  i sound rediculous.  i’m just going to stop right here. Shut up Carolyn!  Take a chance, have your heart broken once more, twice more, and the end will only be sweeter.  The only hope i have is that all my struggles, and pains are worth it.  In the end, they will have never existed.