Remember O Most Gracious Virgin Mary

Why.  WHY do I let myself get into things the way I do?  Why can’t I be careful? Because.  I hope too much.  DO NOT FORGET.  DO NOT DISMISS PREMONITIONS.  THEY ARE PREMONITIONS FOR A REASON DAMNIT!!!!!!!  ((there. i said it. done.)) DO NOT DISMISS THEM.  DO NOT FORGET WHAT YOU’VE GONE THROUGH TO BE HERE!

Time and time and time and TIME AND FREAKING TIME AGAIN have I dismissed a premonition, and thought, “ehh, I’m just thinking too much on it…” and time and time and TIME AND TIME AGAIN have I found myself saying, “I should have known.”  Just within these past few days I’ve been given information that did not surprise me -although it very much should have- because I had premised a thought long ago and simply dismissed it thinking I was just crazy.   NO MORE!  NONE!  I AM FINISHED.  Jeez.  Why do I slip up and hope?  I have GOT to stop it NOW. 

COME ON JACK!  That’s why you’re here!  Though I must say, good fellow, that was a pretty good job you just cracked there.  STAND UP!  SEE THAT SIGHT.  LOOK AT IT LOOKING AT YOU, laughing at you. 

On a slightly, but not so slightly different note:

No one should have to throw themself at a person. (take a step back and look at what you’re doing)  If you find yourself feeling like you are……. what?   what should you do?  I dont know….its a somewhat depressing discovery actually.  Throwing yourself at a person who may take/give attention to you for a moment, a few moments, for fun, when someone else isn’t throwing theirself at that person as well….its not worth the attention. Not worth it.  We all want it I know…  Click back a few journal entries and you can read my thoughts on all that crap….im not bothering going into it now, because I know.  I know.  ….Someone who will wait for you.  Time.  I believe in time.  Someone who will wait forever.  Just for you.

I got a paper to write.  Perhaps The Samurai will take a walk with me later tonight.  The Sam?  You wanna?