Remember O Most Gracious Virgin Mary

I was just wondering….i’ve noticed that when i work….i’m not totally ALL THERE…and i never really put myself wholly into it.  It’s like i have this additional sense that knows what i’m about to do and takes over.  I’m not totally conscious of what im drawing…i just am.  My eyes aren’t really watching where my hand goes.  Now it’s not like i become posessed when i work or anything….or maybe i do, i know not…but i was wondering what would happen if i REALLY tried?  good? bad? more? less?   i dunno.  maybe this feeling is what all artists know….that want to create this single masterpiece that tells all truths, that sings out our hearts.  i think if you look collectively at all our works, you’ll find them dispersed in different areas….in one, perhaps it’s the mark-making, in another it’s the subtleness of value or color.  Me?  It’s always in the mark-making.  You can see it.  Very clear.  Just have to find the right subject, the right colors, tones, values….

I have just shared a secret depth of part of an artist.  can you not see it?  Your eyes are not opened.  they are you say? nope. they’re not. 

Good lord….to think that I might have EVER wanted to be one of those people who wish for a career that involves wearing a suit/uniform, drinking a Starbuck’s latte or a McDonalds breakfast somethingorother every morning just to go sit in an airconditioned/heated office, a cubicle all day for the rest of my life would drive me MAD.   bland.

I want to sweat, i want to breathe, i want to see green.  I want to SEE and HEAR and SCREAM and TASTE. 

That other stuff could never be for me.  I admire and respect those people who want that.  variety.  That’s what makes this world function.  Not everyone wants the same things.  you know…the whole ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’    yup. 

yay for who you are.  oh people.