I have now taught at a Catholic high school for five years and have learned so much about our society, esp. the youth. Sometimes students come to me for advice on various issues, and other times comments are made in the classroom. So…parents…here’s some advice coming from someone who talks to the teens and sees how some problems could be avoided.
1. Make God the foundation of your family. Statistics show that families who do this and follow the Church’s teachings remain strong.
2. GO TO CHURCH AS A FAMILY (at least on Sundays)!!!! I’ve actually had students say they want to go to Mass, but their parents don’t take them. You will be amazed at the spiritual rewards you will receive as a family by doing this! Witness to your children , and spiritually grow yourself.
3. Pray as a family. This is truly where they will learn how to pray. Also, the more you pray, the less “boring” prayer/Mass will be.
4. Go to Adoration as a family. What better way to grow together than to be in the presence of the foundation and creator of that family?? My husband and I started doing this, and it keeps us focused on what’s truly important.
5. Eat dinner together at least 5 nights a week. Teens want to talk to you and they want to have a relationship with you! Eat dinner together and open up those lines of communication. (NO TV!)
6. Limit the extracurricular activities of your teen/s. Sports get in the way of family time and the time you spend with God. The third commandment does not say “Remember to keep holy the sporting events.” Too often students tell me they missed Mass because of a practice or game. This family has now made that sport their false god. Coaches…no practices on Sunday…they need to spend quality time with God and their family.
7. Limit computer time, and do NOT put a computer in their room! Trust me…I’ve looked on My Space and Facebook, and these kids tell everything about themselves on there for everyone to see. Why? How?? Because they’re not being monitored, and you have no clue who they’re talking to.
8. Limit video game time. I think it’s great if you play the video games with them, but don’t let them play these games by themselves or with friends for an extended amount of time. This could start to shut down those lines of communication as well as increase their laziness.
9. Don’t get a teenager a cell with UNLIMITED texting capabilities, unless you want to see them with that cell in their hands every moment they’re around you. I personally don’t think a teenager needs a cell until they are in the car by themselves driving. Parents…they text all day long in school!! And you wonder why they’re not doing well in class…they’re not paying attention because they’ve been texting and are so caught up in teenage drama. Plus…don’t get me started on the language they use!! Read those messages…some of them are terrible!
10. LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Hug, kiss, tell them you love them!! This means the world to our teens! I tell my students that I love all of them and pray for them all the time. They need to hear that because they don’t always feel it!
These are thoughts that have been going on in my head. I have felt called to send this out. I know parenting is a difficult job, and so is being a teenager (we’ve all been there). The only way we can be successful at these jobs is by keeping God as our number one in all things and love one another.
P.S. These thoughts are mine; however, I’ve talked to various other people within youth ministry who feel the same way. We truly believe these are ways the culture of our youth can begin to truly transform.