The Catholic Game Nerd

With E3 right around the corner and all that, I'm looking for new things to review.  So, you tell me, what would you like for me to review right now?  Next on my plate is Assassin's Creed for PS3, but I'm open to suggestions.  Use the comment fields below if you like.  

Know what?  Just throw anything at me you want.  PC, PS3, DS, XBOX 360, Atari 2600.  I don't really care.  I just enjoy playing games and ranting or raving about them.  I'd like to do this more often.  That is where you come in.

Industry execs take notice.  I represent a significant portion of gamers, as 1/3 of the world's population claims Catholicism as its religious affiliation.  Even those who do not game will purchase games for a relative or friend.  So why not get some advanced copies of games headed my way?  Use the comment field to contact me and I will provide my snail mail for you.

Why are you still here?  Don't you have something to play?

Have you played Grand Theft Auto 3?  Grand Theft Auto: Vice City?  Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas?  Same story, next verse, but you're back in Liberty City as you were in GTA3.  Graphically, this game is stunning.  The amount of processing power required to handle all the detail must be pushing the next gen systems to the limit.  Beautiful.  Absolutely beautiful.  And, like the previous games, you can explore till your heart's content.  Plenty of side missions and activities to keep you busy should you decide to take a break from the branching storyline.  But that's not why you're reading this article.

No doubt, you've come here to know whether this is a good game for your little Johnny.  If you're old enough to buy this game for yourself, you're old enough to be culpable for the morality you engage in, even if only virtually, via GTA4.  But you know that.  Parents, if your kids ask you for this game, I have to ask you to say no.  Why?

I'm not the type to say games make people do things, but like many other things in this world associated with vice, they can indeed enhance feelings and behaviors already part of a child or adult.  Just don't blame Pac Man because your child doesn't like long division.  Pac Man is just a game.  Your child needs to study.

Back to the game.  This game has loads, and I mean LOADS, of questionable and even blatantly immoral content.  Despite the beautiful graphic artistry and amazing programming put into this game, you still get points/money for carjacking, among other crimes.  You are still encouraged to cavort with women (prostitutes or otherwise), and you spend a lot of time on the wrong side of the law.  This is not a wholesome game.  Don't buy it for your kid.

I really wish I could say go get this game.  I'd love to tell you that, but I can't.  I have to look beyond the shiny wrapper of all the amazing, and I do mean amazing, gaming wizardry that makes up Grand Theft Auto IV.  I have to look beyond all that and see that it reflects the worst parts of our great nation: greed, lust, struggle for power, hate, pride, envy.  Haven't I seen those words somewhere else before?  Must have been in a book I'm sure.

I'll give this one 2 Police Badges out of 5, for sheer artistic and programming merit.

Since I cannot show footage of this game, I can at least provide you with a safe alternative.

BEHOLD!

 

 Grand Theft Auto IV Cut Scene Alternative: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Want my review of Pokemon Diamond for the Nintendo DS?  Of course you do.  C'mon, man. 

I am not an early adapter, so I only recently purchased Pokemon Diamond for my DS.  I would have reviewed this game much earlier if someone had been kind enough to give me the game for review or at least allow me to demo the game closer to its release date.  Sour grapes aside.  Let's talk about the game.

Have you ever played a Pokemon game?  No?  Have you lived in a cave for the past 10 years?  I'm dating myself a little bit, but I've been playing Pokemon video games for a while now.  In fact, I played Pokemon Blue on my Game Boy at the hospital while my wife was in labor.  Now, before you freak out, let me explain the circumstances.  She was scheduled for an induction, because the baby decided to be way late, and the doctor wanted to be sure baby and mommy were alright.  At any rate, we knew it would be a long process.  My wife got crosswords and books, and I bought a Game Boy and a couple of games, including Pokemon Blue.  I even bought a Pikachu for the baby.  I liked the Pokemon series, and I still do, excepting the weird spin offs.  

The basic premise is that you are a Pokemon trainer, whose job it is to find, and collect as many different species of Pokemon as you can.  Along the way, you train your Pokemon and increase their abilities and skills.  The game has adventure elements and quests, laid out similar to the Zelda series.  There is plenty of collection activity for all you people who love getting as many gold coins, magical stars, or whatever else your various games tell you to collect.  And fighting with other Pokemon and Pokemon trainers is fun too.  

Pokemon Diamond and Pokemon Pearl for the DS are basically the same game.  There are some differences in the Pokemon you find, but the handy WiFi connection will allow you to trade and obtain the differing characters over the good ol' internet.  Hooray!  

How does it play on the DS?  It plays fun, that's how.  You use the directional buttons (d pad) to move around (duh) and can use the touchscreen for various functions when moving about.  When it comes to your menus, you can use the touchscreen or the buttons.  Using the touchscreen in battle is basically selection, but I like having all my options laid out in front of me.  No scrolling to select what to do.  Menus branch in and out easily.  

I've had the game all of two weeks now, and I've been playing about 10 hours total (the game keeps track of your play time).  Taking my time to find all the hidden goodies and talk to all the people (how else am I going to gain Pokemon supremacy?) is a lot of fun.  You can interact with almost everything you see.  I'm also taking the time to level up all my Pokemon so they will be the best Pokemon they can be.  Wow, I must be an awesome trainer.

Is the game worth $40?  Nope.  But I doubt most games are worth their retail price.  I paid $30 for mine and I don't regret it.  It will take me a long time to unlock all the secrets, find all the Pokemon, and beat up on trainers until I am bored.  This game has great replay because of the length of the game, and the various ways to interact with other trainers online via the Nintendo wifi.  Plenty of side quests also lengthen the game and increase it's value.  No wonder Pokemon games, even used and generations old, still fetch large sums of money.  This is a very good series that I recommend to any gamer. 

I'll rate Pokemon Diamond for the Nintendo DS five Munchlax out of five.

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Lego Star Wars II is a favorite game in our house.  The kids play it together with me and my wife.  In fact, there have been conflicts over whose turn it was and who would be next.  In my opinion, this game appeals to the whole family.

On the one hand you have Legos.  Who doesn't like Legos?  Interacting with Legos in a video game is a lot of fun, especially when almost every part of the environment is interactive.  You can destroy, build, move, rebuild, and more.  You can even build a go cart in the middle of Dagobah and drive around the swamp.  I don't remember that from Empire Strikes Back, but I'm sure it's in there.   The legos add a lot of fun to this platformer.

What about the game play?  Well, controls are simple enough that my four year old has been playing since he was about 3 1/2.  But there are some elements that will challenge an experienced gamer (though not extensively).  There is a decent balance between action, fighting and puzzle elements.  Oh, and there are NO ESCORT MISSIONS!  In the words of C3P0, "Oh, Thank the Maker."  

Heh, that's funny for him to say, especially when his maker is Darth Vader.  Whatever, dude.  Anakin/Darth - they're the same guy.  

So the games follow the movies, and if you haven't lived in a closet the past 30 years, you've seen at least a scene or two from Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, or Return of the Jedi.  Between levels there are plenty of cute cutscenes that have my kids rolling on the floor.  I'm asked to replay them at the Cantina (where you start the game and can choose your next level).

 

 Obi Wan Luke Skywalker and R2D2: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

"Daddy, play the one where Princess Leia backsasses Darth Vader."

"What is backsass?"

"I don't know, but that is what she does and it is so funny."

"Whatever dude.  Here you go."

The kids and I love it.  If we didn't limit the amount of TV our family consumes, we would probably play it all the time.  We've beaten the game and are going back and looking for the millions of hidden secrets that we have missed.  Myself, I'm on a mission to get as much "money" (different colored Lego studs are the currency) as I can to unlock the last three characters (the "ghost" versions of Obi Wan, Anakin, and Yoda).  Then I will be getting the last of the golden blocks.  

The game is a blast.  Look at the clip below.  Loads of replay value and a steal at $19.  If you have a PS2, GameCube, PS3, Wii, XBox360, or DS, go get this game.  Even if you don't have kids, you'll have fun.  

The Catholic Game Nerd Rates Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy

4 out of 5 Mitres