Maybe it is because I am head strong and confident.

Maybe it is because I am convicted and passionate.

Maybe it is because in society we get ahead by trampling, and I grew up with that image.

Or perhaps, it is simply because I am a fallen man. No matter the reason I lack enough charity and humility to handle every situation with grace, the result is consistently painful when I don’t. I often notice this phenomenon known as “bob being a jerk” in one of three places.

First, when my wife and I disagree and rather than choose to listen and love I choose to debate. This is perhaps the easiest time to recognize this phenomenon.

Second, while driving someone does something to annoy me and rather than just avoid putting my bumper into their seat, I also add words and anger to the situation. This is the second easiest time to recognize this phenomenon.

Lastly, when I learn that I have hurt someone through my words or actions without intending to do so. While the first two items are humorous rhetoric meant to engage you as a reader, this item is truly the downfall of the Body of Christ. We all, at times, forget that we belong to a community of friends. And while we are intentional or not, our words and actions all affect the whole body of Christ.

This is precisely why the Sacrament of Confession has two purposes. We are first reconciled with the Father and second, we are reconciled with the Body of Christ, whom we have also sinned against. The two are necessary to bring a person fully back into the fold. Let me give you an example.

Recently a close friend told me that some things I had said to someone came back to her through his wife. Now in and of them alone my words were not hateful, harmful, or intended to do any harm. However due to the “translation” of my words they brought pain/harm to my friend whom I care very much about. Essentially I gossiped without manifest intent.

At first I was very upset with the man and his wife for doing this. My response was ”I can’t believe they would do that. Who do they think they are?” Note the use of the word “they”. They did something wrong. They did it. They.

Friends, when something happens and our first reaction is to blame another, I call that pride. To blame another is not to take responsibility for our role and behavior in the body of Christ. So, needless to say, I have to revise that statement.

I can’t believe I did that. Who do I think I am. What kind of friend am I that I would speak words about a friend that could be used against them. What kind of Christian am I gossiping in this way.

This post is not an attempt at an apology (because writing one is like breaking up over the phone, not good enough). This is my attempt to share with you a lesson and a message.

Jesus Christ called us His friends.

Jesus Christ told us that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves.

The next time you are in conversation consider how your words will affect the body of Christ. Are you building the Kingdom of God? Or are you tearing it down?

St. Joseph pray for us.

A few years ago a spiritual director of mine advised me to pray the Psalms. Up until then I read them like the remainder of Scripture, with a prayerful heart, but I did not make them my prayer. Psalm 119 has been one of my favorite prayers since that time.

 Consider this, Psalm 119 is the longest Psalm and it is split into eight verses. Each verse contains a different Hebrew word for “instruction”. Perhaps the Psalmist is attempting to get us to pay attention to something.

Here are some excepts from Psalm 119.

12 Blessed are you, O LORD; teach me your laws.

13 With my lips I recite all the edicts you have spoken.

14 I find joy in the way of your decrees more than in all riches.

15 I will ponder your precepts and consider your paths.

16 In your laws I take delight; I will never forget your word.

17 Be kind to your servant that I may live, that I may keep your word.

18 Open my eyes to see clearly the wonders of your teachings.

19 I am a sojourner in the land; do not hide your commands from me.

35 Lead me in the path of your commands, for that is my delight.

36 Direct my heart toward your decrees and away from unjust gain.

37 Avert my eyes from what is worthless; by your way give me life.

38 For your servant fulfill your promise made to those who fear you.

39 Turn away from me the taunts I dread, for your edicts bring good.

40 See how I long for your precepts; in your justice give me life.

41 Let your love come to me, LORD, salvation in accord with your promise.

47 I delight in your commands, which I dearly love.

167 I observe your decrees; I love them very much.

168 I observe your precepts and decrees; all my ways are before you.

169 Let my cry come before you, LORD; in keeping with your word give me discernment.

170 Let my prayer come before you; rescue me according to your promise.

171 May my lips pour forth your praise, because you teach me your laws.

172 May my tongue sing of your promise, for all your commands are just.

173 Keep your hand ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts.

174 I long for your salvation, LORD; your teaching is my delight.

175 Let me live to praise you; may your edicts give me help.

176 I have wandered like a lost sheep; seek out your servant, for I do not forget your commands.

Note that the Psalmist resounds the ideal that he loves his masters commands…

When was the last time we embraced commands? Do we not balk at those who would command us? Do we not argue with authority? Do we not believe that “we” lead and not the Church?

All too often the lie we fail to acknowledge as sin, is the lie of “I can”. The lie is that we are capable of good without God. Even now we look to elect a mortal man to “save the world”. We worship our financial systems and prophecy of the “pain” to come in our wallets. What is ironic is that man got us here in the first place. Since the time of Adam we have been saying “I can” and all too often we find out the truth the hard way; that we can’t.

Today I urge you, “…do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

Do not believe the lie that you can…without Christ. It is only through and in Christ that this world can be saved and only by the Grace of God that we can understand Truth. Start today by seeking a deeper conversion in the Spirit of God and be renewed by His Grace.

Pray Psalm 119 all the way through.

Say in your prayers today, “I delight in your commands.”