Are you lost?  Have that, “which way do I go” feeling?

As MEN, we are stereotypes as mono-thoughtic beings with the incapacity to ask for directions when lost.  Of course, we are never lost, so the need for directions is never relevant.  Am I right!!!  (Bob high fives some guys in front row, big laugh from audience)

Well, perhaps this stereotype is true, when considering driving a car, putting together one of those ungodly pieces of fiber wood furniture, or assembling children’s Christmas gifts.  However, when considering our relationship with the God of the universe, I submit we need a different approach.

Spiritual direction is an important part of the spiritual life for any person seeking a deeper relationship with God.  Do you have one?

 Spiritual direction is, in reality, nothing more than a way of leading us to see and obey the real Director — the Holy Spirit hidden in the depths of our soul. (Thomas Merton, Trappist monk, USA) The whole purpose of spiritual direction is to penetrate beneath the surface of a person’s life, to get behind the façade of conventional gestures and attitudes which one presents to the world, and to bring out one’s inner spiritual freedom, one’s inmost truth, which is what [Christians] call the likeness of Christ in one’s soul.  This is an entirely supernatural (spiritual) thing, for the work of rescuing the inner person from automatism belongs first of all to the Holy Spirit.  (Thomas Merton)    

I have met with a spiritual director on and off since becoming a Catholic.  I have had three directors in this time.  I still keep in contact sporadically with one of my former spiritual directors and consider him close to my heart as he was instrumental in my going deeper with Christ. 

Today I shave my first meting with a new spiritual director.  Meeting with a new spiritual director is like a probationary job offer.  Two things occur.  First, you need to be comfortable with your director.  Regardless of how you might respect the person or want to meet with them, we all know that once in the chair, it becomes hard to share the deepest secrets of our souls.  This may not work with certain people, and will work with others.  Second, they need to be comfortable with you.  Spiritual direction is a sensitive relationship.  The director can push you in the wrong direction if the relationship isn’t properly ordered.

I have had spiritual directors who were my confessor, and those that were lay people whom I respected in the community and were willing to guide me.  Both are wonderful.    

Bottom line; don’t get caught lost without directions in your life with God.  It’s too important.  We all need someone to keep us accountable.  Because inside, we are all just little boys who want to be heard by daddy except, maybe we need to listen a little more to Our Father then we did as kids.

St. Joseph, pray for us.

I’m taking a break from the current discussion on race as I feel called to share something with you.  As I strive to live the off brand life, I often fall.  Last night my wife and I watched a movie that every dad should watch.  The Martian Child, starring John Cusak. This movie is an account of a single father’s adoption of a troubled child.  Based on real life, the child believes he is from mars because he is not accepted by peers, cast out, and is one of those “weird kids”.

Men, this movie brought me to tears.  The final scene is one that all dads seek; a Martian wish come true.   

How often do we scold our children when they do something wrong, when all they are really looking for is attention?  In this movie the dad, played by Cusak, is relentless in his attempts to show this child his love.  I hope and pray that my children never know the fear that I or my wife may not love them.  Our love for our children is relentless and never ending, has no bounds, and always grows. 

BUT!!!!  Do they always see this?  Do my children see this persistent love?  Or when they break something, do they see the dad who forgot about his child and focused too much on the broken item?  When they break the rules, do they see Mr. Military or loving dad?  It’s okay and necessary to punish and discipline, in fact in coming posts you will see me discuss some disciplinary changes in our household, but discipline and punishment can come with growth, or cost. 

I am the dad who hates to yell at his kids, and yet often catches myself yelling.  I’m the dad who thinks that spanking should not be used or only used as an attention getter like a pat on the butt, and yet last night and the night before I spanked me boys for disobeying us at bedtime.  I’m a fallen sinner of a dad.  And I’m done with that.

Starting today my kids will not be spanked by their dad.  They will not be yelled at by their dad.  They will be properly disciplined and punished for not following the rules or for disobeying.  However, I’m joining in the fight to raise my kids as strong Catholic men.  I am going to focus on their response, rather than the broken plate. 

Now let me be clear.  I do not have the expectation of a house always full of peace, serenity and harp music from the plant shelf.  I don’t expect my wife to wear a pale yellow sun dress while gardening with my boys in plaid overalls and clogs (though the dress does invite another topical post eh.).  I do not expect nirvana in my home.   

Rather, I expect the pursuit of holiness of myself, my wife, and my children.  I expect us all to seek God together.  And when discipline and punishment come, I expect of myself not to turn down my pursuit of holiness.  In fact, perhaps this is an area in my life in which God calls it the most. 

Be off brand.  Be a dad.  Let your kids know today that they are loved persistently, unconditionally, and with the relentless love of an Off Brand Dad.

St. Joseph, pray for us.