Tonight I lay in bed stoned on oxycodone, a muscle-relaxer and a steroid. I have hurt my SI joint in my lower back severely and am in great pain. In the midst of this, I am amazed at the sacrifice my wife is taking to care for me and our kids. She is such an amazing woman, and she is all mine guys. :)

But this causes me to reflect on something. When we are married we take a vow of “in sickness and in health.” In fact, consider the vows you take:

Priest: “Do you take ___ as your lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?”

Bride/Groom: “I do” Bride/Groom: “Take this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit.”

How many marriages end because one member is unwilling to uphold one of these vows?? I am constantly amazed at the lies society tells us:
1. I can do whatever I want.
2. I am more important
3. I should not have to adjust my ways to satisfy your needs

Sure, for some time many indulge the idea of marriage. That is why most marriages fail in the 3-5 year. Most people can “stick it out” for 3 years.

Guys, I am challenged this week through my pain in the butt (literally) to review my sacrifices for my wife. Do I cherish her? Truly cherish her? Do I care for her when she is sick? Do I love her when we don’t have money, and when we do? Am I committed for better and for worse?

I can say without a doubt that I do a great job of the money, because we never have money.  So I’m good there. Men, I think we, I, most often fail at the “cherish” part.

According to Merriam-Webster.com this is what “cherish” means:

To hold dear: feel or show affection for
To keep or cultivate with care and affection
To entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely

So I ask you, and I challenge myself…. Are we men or are we MEN? Do we cherish our wives? Do we respond with affection when we are upset, or do we respond in anger? Do we truly “cultivate with care and affection?” Do we “harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely?” These are the next level of characteristics added to the Off Brand Dad definition.

Off Brand Dads show their wives the love we vowed to display when we said “I do”.

These women are not just another person at the office or driver on the street; they are the one person God entrusted us with the task of getting to Heaven.

Join me in the task of striving for Off Brand Dad status, let us love our wives the way we promised God we would. Let us lay down our lives for them.

My wife is posting a series on her journey to find the virtue of Meekness in her life.  I am joining the journey as I also need to find this virtue more in my life.  I posted the definition of Meekness below.

So men, here is my question.  How well do we display this virtue?  Most of the time we respond to anger with anger; we respond to injury with injury. 

As the definition states, Paul writes in Thessalonians, "See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seeks to do good to one another and to all" (I Thess. 5:15).

I am now praying for the grace to respond to all with Love.  This, in my opinion, is so counter cultural that I myself think I’m crazy.  Since birth I have been taught that a Man kills and eats his prey.  My father used to tell me that if someone harmed me, to punch them in the face.  In school I got in many fights, some I won, some I did not.  Even now, I find myself sometimes responding in anger to situations that are just begging for a loving response. 

Recently in my life I have responded to two such situations with anger and rude comments.  Rather than building the Body of Christ, I tore it down some with my un-Christ-like response.  I became name brand, like everyone else I responded in selfishness and didn’t consider God’s will.

Men, meekness is a necessity for the Off Brand Dad of the Year Award (more on that later).  We must seek meekness in our lives.  We must not respond in anger to anger or injury.  If our boys and girls see that, we simply perpetuate the culture of death in our family.  We have to strive to be Off Brand, to pursue the culture of life, to pursue Gods will. 

So, let’s start small.  I pledge to Not respond in anger to bad drivers on my commutes to and from work.  And I pledge to Not respond in anger to those in my life who I believe are hurting me, or attacking me or my family.  Rather, I pledge to Love All, even if imperfectly.  I pledge to Be Like Christ, regardless of my pride. 

Join me on this.  I can’t do it alone and neither can you. 

St. Joseph, pray for us.

THE VIRTUE OF MEEKNESS

Meekness is a virtue which moderates the passion of anger according to the dictates of reason, and calms the desire for revenge (St. Thos. II II, 157, 1 & 2). It restrains one from wanting to inflict injury for injury. It enables one, relying on the Father's will, to remain tranquil in the face of wrongs done him (ibid. I II, 69, 3). St. Paul stressed the need of this virtue in his letter to the Thessalonians: "See that none of you repays evil for evil, but always seeks to do good to one another and to all" (I Thess. 5:15).

Because of the inclinations of our fallen nature we are usually inclined to avenge every offense, and to resist every adversary. Such is the spirit of the world, but not the spirit of Christ. In time of adversity meekness inclines not to revenge, but to gentleness and patience, to pardon personal insults; and in trials allowed by God's providence - to patience and resignation. It helps us to endure difficulties that we encounter in those of different tastes and dispositions. It is an indispensable aid to charity in bearing wrongs patiently, and avoiding bitterness when misunderstood or undervalued. It saves one from answering back quickly with wounding words, that afterwards one wishes had never been said. In a word, it enables one to endure affronts and injuries in a spirit of mildness dictated by reason enlightened by faith. In all such situations it drives the thought and inclination to revenge out of one's mind and heart, thereby removing a key obstacle to the work of the Holy Spirit in the soul. "Do nothing to sadden the Holy Spirit with whom you were sealed against the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, all passion and anger, harsh words, slander, and malice of every kind" (Eph. 4:30).