Musings of a Catholic Convert

Before you jump to any conclusions, I was not abused as a child, nor have I ever abused a child.  Let's just set that record straight.  I do know a few people who were abused as children, but that's not why I leave.  To be honest, there is no one thing that makes me leave.  No abuse in my past, no abuse in my family, never talked with anybody about their past abuse, no one thing that I can think of, no "trigger".  Anytime I hear about a child being abducted, or hurt, or aborted, or abandoned, or neglected, I can't just sit there and listen.

I want to vomit.

I want to weep.

I want to get the images out of my mind.

I ache all over.

I leave the room if I can.

I can't get them out of my mind.

I pray. 

Depending when this occurs, this pattern continues until I fall asleep from exhaustion.  I'm there right now.  That's why I'm typing this.  What set me off?  Several things actually, but we're in this 40 days of prayer and fasting to put an end to abortion and I'm just bombarded with emails and articles.  Nothing wrong with that.  I'm just especially sensitive.  I should be sensitive to the horror of abortion, right?  Duh!  Of course.  But it's more than that for me.  It's the reason why I can't eat (and I love to eat) or sleep.  It has to stop.  Abortion and abuse have to end, not so I can sleep at night, but because it is an atrocity.  

Every day I pray for an end to abortion, euthanasia, abuse and neglect.  I see the faces of the tiny babies, the children, the spouses, the innocent victims.  I hear them crying.  I see them crying, screaming, sobbing.  I pray more.

God change the hearts of these wicked people.  Don't let them hurt someone again.  Comfort the afflicted.  Have mercy on the souls of those innocents.  Protect my children.  Give my country leaders who understand the dignity of the human person FULLY and not just some socio-economic buzz words.  Change hearts.  End this holocaust.  Open the eyes of voters to see how critical the right to life is.  Guide them beyond the media hype and the constant equivocation that would make it seem abortion and life issues are just another political platform.  God PLEASE save those babies.  Save those embryos in the labs.  Don't let those lives be snuffed out in the name of scientific advancement.  God, please change our hearts as your creation.  Renew in us a wonder and reverence for our creation in YOUR image.  Don't let the abuser rest at night or day.  Don't let the abortion supporter sleep at night.  Don't let any of them have rest.  Bring to their mind the gravity of their sin.  Weigh it so heavily on their heart and mind that they are forced to reckon with it.  Drive them to their knees.  For it is then that they will turn to you, broken and repentant.  I know you take no pleasure in seeing them hurt, but that you rejoice in their return to you and to the dignity of your creation.  Only you can change them.  I'm just one guy.  I'm too scared to do a lot of things, but I pray because I know you listen.  For those who have sinned against you, Lord, myself included, show us your great mercy.  Remind us that we are never beyond the reach of your grace, that our ability to sin is not greater than your ability to forgive us.  Teach us repentance, guide us in pennance, restore us.  God have mercy on us all, especially on those who cannot speak up for themselves.

Will you pray with me?  Will you help?  It has to stop.  We can't ignore the horrors all around us.  We need to pray.  We need to fast.  We need to speak out.  Please take time, even now if you can, and pray to end abortion in this country.  Pray for an end to abuse.  Don't know how to pray?  Just tell God.  He's listening.  He listens to me when I'm eloquent and when I'm babbling.  I know He'll listen to you as well.  

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 25th, 2008 at 7:07 am and is filed under 2008 Presidential Election, Pro Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.